{"id":265980,"date":"2016-10-26T04:46:50","date_gmt":"2016-10-26T04:46:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/webfocuskenya.com\/jnnn\/aug-22-august-28th-2011-lust-is-sexual-sin-2\/"},"modified":"2016-10-26T04:46:50","modified_gmt":"2016-10-26T04:46:50","slug":"aug-22-august-28th-2011-lust-is-sexual-sin-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/webfocuskenya.com\/jnnn\/aug-22-august-28th-2011-lust-is-sexual-sin-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Aug 22 – August 28th 2011- Lust is Sexual Sin"},"content":{"rendered":"

Daily Meditations from John N N Ng’ang’a: Week of\u00a0 22 \u2013 28 August 2011\u2014<\/span><\/em><\/strong> Lust is Sexual Sin<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Hebrews13:4<\/strong><\/a>
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Why did God make marriage a\u00a0\u2018one-way-traffic\u2019?<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The Bible says that God hates divorce. To God\u00a0it is safer to \u2018stay with that guy as bad as he is than to try to move out of that guy\u2019. He could have said He doesn\u2019t like it. But He didn\u2019t use the word \u2018like\u2019. He used the word hate. He used a strong language. Any relationship between two people is not trivial. They tell us in weddings that when two people come together in marriage union, it resembles putting two axes in one kiondo.<\/em> They will always knock on each other. When I was a young man I hated that message. I argued it is\u00a0not a message for\u00a0 a born again couple . I used to think it was inappropriate for Christians. Thirty one years of marriage with Rebecca has taught me otherwise. When you put two axes together, somehow they will keep knocking on each other when they are being carried. If one axe knows there is an alternative, it will jump out. I can tell you there is no possibility of marriage lasting if there is a way out. The only thing that will keep you together is when one knows there is no way out but to stay together.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

So you realize that this husband is bad, but since he is yours for life, you will help him change. He may have come with large teeth but you put just have to put bandage on yourself so he cannot hurt\u00a0even if he bites you. You work on your guy. He is finally\u00a0like a toothless!<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

But if you knew you could jump out of the lion\u2019s cage, will you stay there? No. But if you know this cage is mine with this lion, you will find a way to deal with the lion.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I think that\u2019s why God talked about divorce with such strong language. First of all, He gave sex, which is a wonderful experience, and then He says you can\u00a0only<\/strong> have sex with what you now imagine is a\u00a0lion<\/em>. God gave the two so that when you realize it is long term, you will find it\u00a0important to find a way of taming the\u00a0lion in each other. Every lion is tamable. So, your souse too can be tamed.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

It\u00a0is important to understand this because it helps you to work on your marriage. In the West even the church has said, \u201cNow this marriage for life time\u00a0thing can\u2019t work.\u201d I told the church there has softened\u00a0their stand. They don\u2019t believe scriptures can be fully relied on. They imagine God does not really hate divorce. You can divorce if you must. As such, the divorce rate for the non-Christians is becoming equal with that of the church in America, in recent statistics!<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Obviously even among Christians the \u2018axes are still knocking each other\u2019. Marriages last if there is knowledge that you must stay with your lion. As soon as you open\u00a0up to alternatives to \u2018marriage for life\u2019 your marriage cannot last. There is no such a marriage as a marriage without challenges. And why do I say that? We are all fallen creatures. We are fallen men. \u00a0As such, there will be things your wife will say that annoy you. Once you are annoyed you will say something that annoys her. Two annoyed people can only produce \u2018fireworks\u2019. But it is only then that you realize that your spouse is not as good as you thought. You become\u00a0 interested and ready to sort out challenges. I have been married thirty one years. The reason why we enjoy each other\u2019s fellowship with Rebecca is because we forgive one another.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The survival message for marriage is\u00a0forgiveness. Without forgiveness, there is no marriage that can last. I am not such a good person. I may be good when you see me preaching. But you know we enjoy our marriage. Why? She knows she married a human being and she forgives me.\u00a0 I know, too, that I married a human being. Boys like calling their girlfriends angels. They are not. That\u2019s a lie. They are very human. So when you realize how human they are and accept them as such, you are able to have a good marriage.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The long term commitment makes you invest in what will help you enjoy your relationship. As soon as a problem arises, you don\u2019t look for\u00a0a way out. You look for solutions. The reason we enjoy marriage is not because we don\u2019t get your problems, but that\u00a0we don\u2019t look at problems in the same way you look at them. When you stay in a home and all you keep saying\u00a0is, \u201cThey will never see my grey hair when I am still in this\u00a0home\u201d, then you can be sure to have to endure rather than enjoy marriage. In your 20\u2019s grey hair look unlikely. Rebecca and I are past that. If you keep saying that then you are predicting the whole end of your marriage.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

As long as that\u2019s what you want you will get it. You need to change attitude to find a way of making the marriage last.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Day 2<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Leviticus21:9<\/strong><\/a>
\u201c\u2018If a priest\u2019s daughter defiles herself by becoming a prostitute, she disgraces her father; she must be burned in the fire<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

We have been emphasizing that casual sex is sin. Casual sex is using somebody else as an instrument to satisfy you sexually and then discard them, since you have no commitment to them beyond the sex act. In other words when you sleep with a woman and you have no intention to marry her, you are just using her. Many people are used. That\u2019s why prostitutes have no difficulty taking payments whether twenty shillings or three thousand. I don\u2019t know their prices. I have never been involved in that. But you need to understand that the reason you are being told to pay is because there is no relationship, no commitment. So it is services rendered services to be paid for. Casual sex is when there is no long term relationship.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Casual sex is using somebody else and so it can happen even\u00a0with\u00a0some people who are not paid. You are still using\u00a0any woman you sleep with without a wedding, and that\u2019s prostitution even if there is no money. You are actually using her or she may be using you. And would God be happy with you when you\u00a0use his creation? No. You would be in trouble with God. This is a sin\u00a0against God since the person you are using is God\u2019s creation. Thus, you should not play with anyone on earth. Not because of\u00a0themselves, because some do not mind\u00a0being used\u2026\u2026.like for example a prostitute actually invites you. Even if she is willing to sleep with you, when you sleep with her you don\u2019t have trouble with her, you have trouble with her creator.<\/p>\n

God doesn\u2019t want you to use a person because sex was created as a way of uniting two people, not a way of using each other. You are breaking this intention in casual sex because it is sleeping with anyone without a long term commitment.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Day 3<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Gen 38<\/sup><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

8<\/sup><\/em><\/strong> Then Judah said to Onan, \u201cSleep with your brother\u2019s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.\u201d\u00a09<\/sup> But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother\u2019s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother.\u00a010<\/sup> What he did was wicked in the LORD\u2019s sight; so the LORD put him to death also.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Ro 6:13 (NIV)<\/p>\n

Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Matt 5:28-29 (NIV)<\/p>\n

[Jesus:] “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sexual immorality, involves\u00a0other things\u00a0also. Do you know masturbation is also a\u00a0sin?\u00a0 If he has told us to even imagine the sexual act and calls it sin how could you masturbate without breaking the rule?<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

What is masturbation? Masturbation is enjoying sex without commitment because in doing it, you are having \u2018sex with yourself\u2019. God\u2019s message is,\u00a0sex is good\u00a0but\u00a0enjoy it only\u00a0if you\u00a0make a long term commitment with someone of the opposite sex. When you argue\u2026\u2019 I am not getting married, I will therefore\u00a0\u2018sleep with myself\u2019\u2026. then that\u2019s what masturbation is. Enjoying sex with self is sin. You are not misusing others, you are misusing yourself.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

A person is condemned in the scriptures because he actually enjoyed sex without due consideration of the lady.\u00a0Onan<\/em><\/strong> had\u00a0sexual release but avoided\u00a0the girl getting pregnant. You know the story, isn\u2019t it? Sex must be allowed in marriage not where you want to have sex but avoid long term consequences.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The whole practice\u00a0of masturbation is a non\u2013Christian thing. And the reason it is non-Christian is because sex is\u00a0God\u2019s\u00a0gift only under certain conditions:\u00a0marriage bed must be held honourable<\/em>. If you have masturbation you actually get sexual release \u2026sexual joy or sexual experience\u2026by fantasizing without long term commitment. And that\u2019s what makes masturbation sin. A lot of people say, oh it is okay. Our children are being taught that there is nothing wrong with masturbation. After all you will not end up with AIDS. The way to avoid AIDS is to masturbate.\u00a0 I say it remains a sin.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

We used to think it is a boys\u2019 problem, these days when we are counseling we discover a lot of girls are actually masturbating so that it is no longer now a boy\u2019s issue. It is also girls issue because of the teachings we are giving them on TV. Remember worldview. Whereas people in our generation thought it is a very bad thing, the new generation doesn\u2019t think it is a very serious issue.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

But you need to understand it is exactly the same\u00a0even today. Sinful since the bible does not change. When the Bible says marriage bed must be honored, it means you can only enjoy sex in marriage. So you cannot be masturbating, experiencing sexual release with yourself because then you will be disobeying God\u2019s command. You are likely to say \u201cBrother Ng\u2019ang\u2019a, you are now making it too complicated. Even sex with my self\u00a0is still a sin?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

You need to understand that when you steal, it doesn\u2019t matter if the reason you stole was because you are hungry. A thief is a thief even if he stole out of hunger. Like, if I am walking in town\u00a0and there are some chips being sold along the street, and I am feeling so hungry, I look around and when no one can see me, I grab some chips. If you catch me I will still be jailed, I will be sent back to Police but I will not be able to defend myself by saying\u00a0I was hungry.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

If I am hungry I should beg from the owner, not steal, Isn\u2019t it? Who is the owner of the woman? It is God. If you want to enjoy sex, you go to God and apply. It is important to understand this. You cannot say it is okay to steal. Similarly, you are not allowed to enjoy sex outside marriage, even if you have been unable to get a spouse.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Also, you don\u2019t want to masturbate given\u00a0all the resultant guilt. Many people that are masturbating are ending up in marital problems\u00a0too. When you masturbate, especially when still\u00a0single, even after you are married, there is a certain way you have been enjoying it that doesn\u2019t seem to come from your wife. So some\u00a0married men still masturbate. Have you read that? \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So the wife wonders, how come, he has so little interest in sex? I am never satisfied in bed? It is because the guy is having \u2018sex with himself\u2019. So by the time he comes to you\u00a0he has been having sex with himself all the time and really does not need you. All because he started it in a small way then he got addicted to it.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Most of the sexual issues are addictive. For example when you sleep with your girlfriend before the wedding, by saying it will be only once, you discover that\u00a0having the second one is almost irresistible. Do you know that the first\u00a0makes the second one very easy?<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t ever want to do it, don\u2019t do it even the first time. Pornography is\u00a0 is used to aid\u00a0\u00a0 masturbation and the best way to avoid it is never to view it even once .<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Day 4<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Romans 1:26-29<\/h3>\n

26<\/sup> Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones.\u00a027<\/sup> In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Then the other aspect of sexual immorality that is prevalent lately is homosexuality<\/em>. Homosexuality is where you actually now decide, I don\u2019t want to end up with this guilty conscience of having sex with self. You also do not want to bother with the opposite gender. So you go for another girl like you. After all you don\u2019t want to be accused of going with men. So you go for another girl.<\/p>\n

Look at Romans 1:26\u2026\u00a0because of this God gave them over to shameful lust; even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones<\/em>. Are you getting it? Because of this, because of giving up God, God gave them over to shameful lust. Why are they shameful? Because women wanted to have sex with women. In case you think it is condemned only\u00a0in the New Testament, let\u2019s go to the Old Testament, Leviticus 18:22\u00a0which says:\u00a0do not lie with a man the way one lies with a woman. That is detestable. <\/em><\/strong>I was in South Africa\u00a0some years ago and bought a book from a church, written by a church of homosexuals. It is called \u2018Aliens in God\u2019s Church<\/em>.\u2018 It is a large book written by many theologians trying to justify homosexuality and they say,\u00a0we belong to church but church\u00a0people are rejecting us like aliens.<\/p>\n

I am sure God loves homosexuals and Christ died for them but,\u00a0God does not say they are ok the way they are. Read the verses again. Can\u00a0you see how clearly\u00a0the word of God is condemning homosexuality? It says clearly;\u00a0do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman<\/em>. It is absolutely clear. And whether we are talking about two women or two men, God is absolutely clear it is a sin. In fact Romans says\u2026 it is characteristic of a depraved man \u2026it is a sign of\u00a0a man whom God has given upon. God has given you up \u2026no wonder\u00a0my friend\u00a0you are interested in another man.<\/p>\n

Sex is only allowed for the members of opposite sex and only then within long term commitment.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Day 5<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

John 1<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

9<\/sup><\/em><\/strong> If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.\u00a010<\/sup> If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t matter which category of sexual immorality we are talking about. It is all sin. Whether it is homosexuality, whether it is masturbation, whether it is casual sex, whatever issue, the Word of God is categorical and clear, you are supposed to only have sex on marriage bed and when you have it outside you are breaking\u00a0God\u2019s law.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

However I must remind you the\u00a0good thing: that God is forgiving God. Do you know that? You can\u00a0have secondary virginity. In other words He is able to forgive you, and you become like a virgin. He can sort out your marriage problems\u00a0caused by your past, but you must begin by calling it sin.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

As long as you will cover it up, it will haunt you. God does not forgive excuses, He only forgives repented sins. If you can go and admit with your husband that what you did with him before the wedding day was sin, God is willing to forgive and sort it out. Even if there is something you have been doing after you are married, God is willing to forgive that too but it all begins by repentance. And when you repent He can restore you and help you to have a good marriage within the rules of the scriptures. You must be willing to repent.<\/p>\n

Pray to the\u00a0 Lord Jesus that He\u00a0 may show\u00a0 us that\u00a0 He truly want us to live righteously .Since we can\u2019t do it within our power, we are seeking his\u00a0 help, first of all to admit our sinfulness, secondly to admit where have been\u00a0 wrong. We should\u00a0 seek his\u00a0 help, that He\u00a0 may truly give us the energy to live righteously as we relate with one another and with our spouses.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Day 6<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Matth 5<\/sup><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

27<\/sup><\/em><\/strong> \u201cYou have heard that it was said, \u2018You shall not commit adultery.\u2019[e<\/a>]<\/sup> 28<\/sup> But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.\u00a029<\/sup> If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.\u00a030<\/sup> And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

From the beginning\u00a0we have stated clearly that God wants us to be married and stay married to one wife for life.\u00a0\u00a0 When we talk about sexual immorality, we include all types of sexual immorality because obviously you may be doing one and not the other and so you feel you are not immoral. Remember our topic is infidelity or the importance of sexual fidelity\u00a0\u2026 Those of you from rural areas you understand what zero grazing is. Zero grazing means the cow never moves out of that place. But there are a lot of you who don\u2019t want to do zero grazing.\u00a0 \u2018Zero grazing\u2019 on only one person… infidelity\u00a0is avoiding zero grazing.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The word of God says you must do zero grazing.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

But\u00a0we want to ask then, how can you live a life of fidelity? What are the things that can help you to live a life of fidelity? If you are single fidelity means you stay a virgin whether primary or secondary virginity. You know there are people who are\u2019 single yet married \u2018and that\u2019s wrong. If you are single be properly single.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Of course what we want to find out is how can being chaste\u00a0be sustained. I want us to open\u00a0Matthew 5:27, so we\u00a0can see, when we talk about living righteously, living in fidelity, what does the New Testament define it as? The\u00a0verse says, you have heard it was said to those of old you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery and with her in his heart<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

When it is put like that many of us are adulterers. You get the point? That if that\u2019s the definition of sexual immorality, given by the word of God, even many of us, born again people ,we have to keep repenting. You may have been faithful to your wife, you have never slept with another woman, but have you ever thought of another one? If you ever thought, it is not that you got tempted to sin, you actually sinned. Let me just look at it again in case you think I am the one exaggerating\u00a0\u00a0 it. It is not \u2018ng\u2019ang\u2019aism\u2019.<\/em> Look at verse twenty eight,\u00a0but I say to you, whoever looks at a woman to last for her (<\/em>did not tempt you to commit adultery,<\/em> but),\u00a0has already committed adultery<\/em>. Keep that\u00a0in the mind. I thought we should start from there. You see here it is not if you sleep with her, it is if you just a look at her with lust. Not that you have been tempted, you have already committed adultery.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

You know what I am saying, if you think that as long as I only touched or embraced her, I didn\u2019t sleep with her, I am okay, then you are not obeying the New Testament. As long as I only held her shoulder, that was not a sin, you are\u00a0\u00a0 not scriptural. Remember our topic is how you can live a life of fidelity, how you can avoid sexual sin.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The word of God seems to be giving us right there the secret to\u00a0avoiding\u00a0sexual sin. If you start defining sexual sin as something mental, then you will never do the physical one. Am I right? For example, a lot of young people say, for me\u00a0I only held her shoulder<\/em>. I agree you held her shoulder, how did you feel? If you felt sexually aroused, you are a sinner. It is true you\u00a0only held her shoulder. When you held her shoulder, did you feel nice sexually? That niceness is called sin.\u00a0 Please read the verse\u00a0yourself. I don\u2019t want you to say Ng\u2019ang\u2019a said it.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

These days many young people do not believe this verse. I am getting very surprised because when we got saved girls were girls and boys were boys. In fact even when we said embrace one another; we used to say embrace only the embraceable because there are people you can sit next to who are not embraceable. But the new crop, and some of you are that age, have completely redefined the whole thing. You see young men embracing girls you would think they are wives.\u00a0 Later I say to the\u00a0boy, oh I met your girlfriend. No, that\u2019s not my girlfriend. But he was embracing her like they have been married for five years, yet they only met yesterday.\u00a0 There are two problems with this. If you are saying you can pet any girl\u00a0and it is ok as long there was no sexual penetration,, then you are first really questioning the word of God. But secondly it might mean you have problem biologically .None is an attractive option<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Day 7<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Matthew5:28<\/strong><\/a>
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

So I want to suggest to you that the first way of living sexually pure is to start by understanding definition of sexual impurity according to Matthew five, it includes what happens in the mind. That\u2019s why for example when you are dating, before the date agree with\u00a0each other, what you\u00a0can\u00a0do and what you\u00a0cannot\u00a0do. The Matthew verse gives you the standard. You must not do anything that will cause you to be tempted in your mind. Not just\u00a0physically but also in your mind.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why when people say, is it okay to hold hands. Then it is ok only if holding hands does not cause you jitters. You need to understand whatever it is that cause you to start feeling sexually\u00a0\u2018nice\u2019, that \u2018niceness\u2019 that is supposed to be\u00a0in a marriage bed, then sense trouble. Are we together? Whatever that niceness is, although\u00a0I agree you are going to marry her next year, or is it next month, but until that next month, it is called a sin.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

So can you imagine what purity will be there when even people who are marrying next week start relating with each other aware of the meaning of the above verse?\u00a0 It means that you have committed sexual sin if you start imaging the sexual experience, even before you actually do it. Thus when you are talking to\u00a0a single person or a married person who is not your spouse,\u00a0please watch out what is entering your mind. That\u2019s why for example even if you are married, you cannot call another woman who is not your wife and start watching a sexually suggestive movie together .You are asking for trouble. Isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t get the evil feeling despite exposing yourself to sexually suggestive environments or events, it is likely\u00a0there is something wrong with you\u00a0biologically. It is important to understand that if you are talking about something that will tempt you; you should not be\u00a0near it. It\u00a0matters what you watch and with who you watch. Yet when it is your wife she can be\u00a0half naked, fully\u00a0naked, it doesn\u2019t quite matter, and it will not be a temptation.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Avoid sexual thoughts and you will vapid sexual immorality.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

On Fri, Aug 19, 2011 at 10:55 AM, John Ng’ang’a <john@johnnganga.org<\/a>> wrote:<\/p>\n

Still waiting<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

From:<\/strong> Cleophas Barmasai [mailto:cbarmasai@gmail.com<\/a>]
Sent:<\/strong> Thursday, August 11, 2011 12:20 PM
To:<\/strong> John Ng’ang’a
Subject:<\/strong> Re: Jnnnganga meditations week 15th -21st august 2011.. ..why have Christian weeding before sex<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I will send today. Sorry for delay.<\/p>\n

On Wed, Aug 10, 2011 at 2:04 PM, John Ng’ang’a <john@johnnganga.org<\/a>> wrote:<\/p>\n

Any progress<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

From:<\/strong> John Ng’ang’a [mailto:john@johnnganga.org<\/a>]
Sent:<\/strong> Monday, August 08, 2011 7:30 PM
To:<\/strong> ‘Cleophas Barmasai’<\/p>\n

Subject:<\/strong> Jnnnganga meditations week 15th -21st august 2011.. ..why have Christian weeding before sex<\/p>\n

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Draft<\/strong><\/p>\n

Please correct and return <\/strong><\/p>\n

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Jnnnganga meditations\u00a0 week 15th<\/sup> -21st august 2011.. ..why have Christian weeding before sex <\/strong><\/p>\n

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Day 1<\/p>\n

2 samuel<\/sup><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

32<\/sup> But Jonadab son of Shimeah, David\u2019s brother, said, \u201cMy lord should not think that they killed all the princes; only Amnon is dead. This has been Absalom\u2019s express intention ever since the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Am talking still to single people<\/p>\n

Long after the wedding day ,when you realize that your wife came to you as a virgin and that she waited DESPITE\u00a0 the temptations , especially if you courted long enough, you tend to trust her ven btter during the marriage.<\/p>\n

The temptations were in plenty and yet she said no to even you and any others and remained righteous. She trusted the Lord enough not to displease Him. If you now go to Japan for a year you know that girl will remain chaste, because she trusts the Lord. She is not remaining righteous for you, since\u00a0 she may have said\u00a0 no to you. She loved the Lord more than you. And if she loved the Lord more than you, it means whoever tempts her when you are away will also get a no.<\/p>\n

When you actually give in before marriage, you have just spoilt you future relationship, your sexual enjoyment in marriage will\u00a0 be affected. when you realize that somebody saved herself just for you, it makes the sexual experience after the wedding day\u00a0 much richer .Every time you have sexual relation it just reminds\u00a0 you, \u2018this girl is all mine, she saved herself just for me\u2019. Or for you as a woman you realize, \u2018this man saved\u00a0 himself just for me\u2019. And it gives you a lot of confidence in your relationship.<\/p>\n

If you really want to enjoy your sexual life after the wedding day,\u00a0 say no to him until the wedding. Do anything to wake him up to what he will lose in having sex before the wedding. You may even have to slap him. Chase him out of your house. If he insists too much ,the best style is not to negotiate. It may\u00a0 become too late when you also get emotionally weakened . Get him out of your house. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And by the way he will hate you for an evening or two. Next\u00a0 morning he says, the reason she chased me really is because she loves the Lord. If she loves the Lord, it means nobody else can play with her. This is the woman I want to marry. This will bring him back with an apology and even more respect for you. And if he goes off good because he cannot wait then its good riddance since even if hyou married you he will cheat on you whenever you go for journey,<\/p>\n

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Day 2<\/p>\n

Leviticus 18<\/sup><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

20<\/sup> \u201c\u2018Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor\u2019s wife and defile yourself with her. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

22<\/sup> \u201c\u2018Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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Condemning Sexual immorality is a way, not of punishing us but of giving us something good. Why did\u00a0 God\u00a0 make it strict that sex could only be done in marriage? Those of us who are married and are Christians can answer that . It is because when you actually remain under God\u2019s law, you enjoy sex more than anybody else.<\/p>\n

Why do you think non Christian do not\u00a0 stick to one woman either before or after the wedding?. No, they don\u2019t enjoy it. They are jumping from one to the other hoping to enjoy but they do not. The truth is when you do it outside God\u2019s program , you don\u2019t enjoy it. In fact you get other problems. It is important to understand that the reason the Lord is restricting you to one on one is not for His benefit. God will not benefit in any way, the benefit\u00a0 is all yours. It is because God wants you to enjoy it.<\/p>\n

Exclusiveness of a relationship makes the sexual experience be very satisfying. That is why you have to pay prostitutes because they do not enjoy it but do it for the money .<\/p>\n

Animals are different. When on heat animals\u00a0 cannot help but have sex, But man has self control that allows him to save his sexual energy for the right woman at\u00a0 the right time<\/p>\n

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Day 3<\/p>\n

Revelation 21 <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

8<\/sup> But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars\u2014they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.\u201d <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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Remember when we talk about sexual sin before marriage, the word we normally use is fornication. That is the sin done by people who are not married whereas adultery refers to people who are married. In other words when we talk about fornication we are talking about single people. Both are sins of sexual immorality, whether it is adultery or fornication.<\/p>\n

But the word we are using more these days is casual sex. This is the idea that I can have sex with you for a night but neither you nor me have any intention of a long term relationship. They\u00a0 call it casual sex. And you need to understand that casual sex is the opposite of marriage. Marriage is a life long commitment to one person.<\/p>\n

In other words the Bible says marital sex is the only legal sex, but casual sex negates this. When we talk about breaking the seventh commandment, thou shall not commit adultery,<\/em> we are\u00a0 talking about having illegal sex . Having sex outside marriage will be breaking the law of God. Even if you are going to marry a girl later, you will have sinned .<\/p>\n

Please make sure you have\u00a0 a long term commitment first.<\/p>\n

Sp sex cannot be casual , It is meant to be only between two people for life .It mmeans pople have sex not just for themselves but also inconsideration of the other party.<\/p>\n

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Day 4<\/p>\n

John 2<\/em><\/h4>\n

1<\/sup> On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus\u2019 mother was there, 2<\/sup> and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. 3<\/sup> When the wine was gone, Jesus\u2019 mother said to him, \u201cThey have no more wine.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

If you have not\u00a0 had a wedding, you don\u2019t have a marriage certificate, it is likely your husband sometimes thinks\u2026. \u2018even if I wanted to go outside marriage , what is there for this girl to use to stop me? After all I wasn\u2019t even sure when and if I ever married her\u2019. It leaves in his mind the possibility of your marriage as on or off. Sometimes on, sometimes off. When you annoy him it is off. When you are pleasing him it is on.<\/p>\n

That is why the church emphasizes that even if you got into a relationship before the wedding day since you were not saved ,you need to come to the pastor, to regularize it. By the way you don\u2019t have to give us tea in a wedding reception. That\u2019s not part of the deal. Tea is bonus. All you require is two witnesses and the pastor who will be acting both on behalf of God and on behalf of the government. You will then\u00a0 get a blessing on the marriage and a marriage certificate.<\/p>\n

You need to ask yourself, if in a\u00a0 casual come we stay relation ,\u2019am\u00a0 I sure\u00a0 if I am\u00a0 married?In having sex without a wedding might I be sinning? You might think it is only men who assume you can pull out of a \u2018come we stay\u2019 relationship easily.. Some sisters are also of the same thinking. They get saved and they come for counseling. They say, \u2018brother you know our marriage has such difficulties because I entered it when I was a non-Christian. I realize I had never made up my mind whether I am married . I just got pregnant\u2019. What is she trying to say? That she wants me to confirm she can drop her husband of several years and so pick the one she consider a better man.<\/p>\n

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Those kind of thoughts die the minute you go before the pastor and you get the marriage certificate signed and it is all settled. You need to understand that when we talk about that commitment, you\u00a0 may have\u00a0 commitment between you and God, but it also needs to be a commitment that others can see .That\u2019s why we have\u00a0 a wedding. The bible says things must established before two or three witness. it is important that you actually have a wedding certificate. That one doesn\u2019t mean that you are getting married again. If you have been living together , you are already married. It means that you are making your wedding official and clear cut ,You need to invite jeus in your marriage by allowing his repreataive, pasto rt o bless your marriage<\/p>\n

Day 5<\/p>\n

Revelation19:7<\/strong><\/a><\/em><\/strong>
Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Some years ago my wife and I were involved in running a\u00a0 couples seminar in Eden Rock hotel in\u00a0 Malindi. Some church in Mombasa had invited us.\u00a0 We talked about sex before\u00a0 commitment being a sin. Exactly the way we are discussing now . In the middle of the retreat, somebody went to the pastor and said, surely it means tonight if I sleep with my wife I might be\u00a0 sinning? No, no. I don\u2019t want to sin again. What can you do to help me? Can you sort me out? Fortunately the pastor had carried his marriage certificate forms , I don\u2019t know why. So the following day I was told before preaching there was a ceremony to be done. And you know they got wedded. The hotel was very good ,they gave a cake for the wedding. So it was all sorted out.<\/p>\n

They had been married I think for eighteen years but all that time, despite being\u00a0 pretty rich, well to do people and in the church, the left the matter un sorted. This allowed the man to toy with idea he could have second wife since not married in church. They kind of played down on it until we talked about. Then it occurred: why is it really we don\u2019t want the marriage certificate?<\/p>\n

Whatever it is that makes the getting of marriage certificate look like it should be tomorrow, or it is not that important, is the thing that will make you\u00a0 open up to temptation when a girl comes who is half\u00a0 the age of your wife yet seems\u00a0 to like you.<\/p>\n

So it is important to ask yourself why do I not want to clear this matter.<\/p>\n

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Day 6<\/p>\n

Rom 7:2-3<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3 So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

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Sometimes you hear people say, me I don\u2019t say \u2018I am saved but\u00a0 and I am a Christian in away\u2019. You hear people say that. What is it that makes you not say you are saved? Whatever makes you not say it may be\u00a0 what makes you not even a Christian at all. If\u00a0 they ever say we are killing Christians, you would say to the executioners , \u2018but have I ever said I am one\u2019? And that\u2019s why you need to say openly and clearly if you are born again.<\/p>\n

Similarly\u00a0 to deal with this issue of sex, you need to talk together with your husband and confirm if you are committed for life or not ..are you married the church way ? Where is the certificate\u00a0 ? it is not settled, even if you had your traditional marriage, and you even paid the goats for dowry . You need to ask yourself, if you have met the requirements of your fellowship.<\/p>\n

For example\u00a0 as a Kikuyu you even if he\u00a0 gave\u00a0 \u2018ngurario\u2019(shedding blood to confirm the marriage<\/em>) but he\u00a0 may use this to say you are wife number one. I can later get wife number two. The only one wedding that that means you are the only one for life is the Christian wedding or marriage .<\/p>\n

So when you tell me, \u2018 I am married\u2019, I ask\u00a0 \u2018How? By Luhya customs?\u2019. It means you are ready for a second wife. So why would you call yourself a Christian and yet your marriage is Luhyas? Luhyas normally can get twenty. Muslims say four but Luhyas can get twenty without a problem. Am I right Luhyas? Quite normal. There is nothing wrong with it. So you need to ask yourself, what kind of marriage are you talking about?<\/p>\n

Is the interest in future extra wives the\u00a0 reason why you are not signing the Christian marriage certificate \u2026 so that you can have sex with this one, and the next time you have sex with another one, you say I did not sin, she is my second wife. It is very important that we sort out this issue.<\/p>\n

All sins are sins, they will take you to hell, but there is so much about sex in the bible\u00a0 that God must have known there are very serious consequences in sexual sin. We have seen that that legal sex is not possible until the wedding day, so the wedding is the one that makes sex allowable. Any sex without a long term commitment, (I am calling wedding a long term commitment), if you are not willing to commit yourself long term you have no reason to touch her and sex will be sin.<\/p>\n

Day 7<\/p>\n

1 Cor 7:39<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The second thing you need to understand about marriage is that this thing is like \u2018one way traffic\u2019. It is just like getting into a major highway . If you want to go to Mombasa you turn left, if you want to go to Kisumu you turn right. But if at that point you get a little confused and you turn right and you meant to go to Mombasa, what do we advise you to do ? You have to keep going to the wrong direction until the next round about. If you try to change direction before then you are committing suicide. The cars will be coming in a hurry and you risk a head on accident\u00a0 . You know you can insist\u00a0 and say, aah I must\u00a0 on\u00a0 to towards Mombasa! My friend, you will be dead.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s how\u00a0 marriage is also. Even if you took a wrong spouse according to you , you must continue on the wrong road until the roundabout and the roundabout for marriage is called death. Marriage is one way traffic. So you are allowed to change but in the next roundabout and the roundabout is called death. So you need to be aware that you can\u2019t saying but Brother Ng\u2019ang\u2019a the way we are having difficulties with my husband I need a change\u00a0 surely. Now yes it is understandable but wait until the roundabout. So you keep going until the next roundabout. Sex with anyone else except this spouse that you do like ,is sin<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Daily Meditations from John N N Ng’ang’a: Week of\u00a0 22 \u2013 28 August 2011\u2014 Lust is Sexual Sin \u00a0 Hebrews13:4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral \u00a0 Why did God make marriage a\u00a0\u2018one-way-traffic\u2019? \u00a0 The Bible says that God […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-265980","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nAug 22 - August 28th 2011- Lust is Sexual Sin - John Ng'ang'a<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/webfocuskenya.com\/jnnn\/aug-22-august-28th-2011-lust-is-sexual-sin-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Aug 22 - 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