{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"John Ng'ang'a","provider_url":"https:\/\/webfocuskenya.com\/jnnn","author_name":"johnad","author_url":"https:\/\/webfocuskenya.com\/jnnn\/author\/johnad\/","title":"23rd May - 29th May 2011 Communication in Marriage - John Ng'ang'a","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"nrnKCKmT0F\"><a href=\"https:\/\/webfocuskenya.com\/jnnn\/23rd-may-29th-may-2011-communication-in-marriage\/\">23rd May &#8211; 29th May 2011 Communication in Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/webfocuskenya.com\/jnnn\/23rd-may-29th-may-2011-communication-in-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=nrnKCKmT0F\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#8220;23rd May &#8211; 29th May 2011 Communication in Marriage&#8221; &#8212; John Ng&#039;ang&#039;a\" data-secret=\"nrnKCKmT0F\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/webfocuskenya.com\/jnnn\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n","description":"Daily Meditations from John N N Ng'ang'a: Week of\u00a0 23 \u2013 29 May 2011\u2014 Communication in Marriage \u00a0 Day 1 \u00a0 Genesis28:1 So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him. Then he commanded him: \u201cDo not marry a Canaanite woman As I write this, I am\u00a0asking myself about marriage,\u00a0\u201cWhat is the one thing that is most important to look as concerns success\u00a0in\u00a0marriage?\u201d \u00a0 My wife and I have been married for about thirty two years. Looking at that time, what is one challenging area in marriage that can prevent me from enjoying marriage, the way God wanted me to? For many, marriage is one thing they endure rather than enjoy! I can say upfront that that\u2019s not how God intended marriage to be. It is His intention that you enter into\u00a0 marriage and enjoy it. \u00a0 It is my prayer is that, God, in His own way, will help\u00a0us all enjoy our marriages. \u00a0 So what are the keys to success in marriage? \u00a0 First, who you marry is the key to a good marriage. I would advise that you do not marry a \u201cCanaanite\u201d! But if you already married to one, seek to bring him or her to the Lord for salvation. \u00a0 As I thought over this, I felt that the second key is Communication in Marriage. Once married communication is the one thing that can either help you to enjoy marriage or cause you to endure marriage. And it is my prayer that God in his own way will help us to deal with that issue. \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 2 Gen2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh \u00a0 The reason why communication is so crucial for marriage is simply that marriage is about communication! In other words it is a relationship between two people and for them to actually in any way be able to transact the business of marriage, then communication is the critical thing. That is, actually, how they \u2018cleave\u2019 to each other. \u00a0 You cannot say that there is a relationship between people if they don\u2019t communicate. Even if you don\u2019t know each other\u2019s language, there must be a method you will have to create for you to say you are relating. If you do not communicate then you really don\u2019t have any relationship at all. \u00a0 That\u2019s why a lot of people are housemates rather than couples. Although they share a house or the kitchen, they may have different bedrooms and might have little or nothing to do with each other. As long as you write clear rules, so that may by seven to eight, so and so is the one who uses the kitchen and then eight to nine is somebody different, you can actually live in the same house as housemates and not relate. \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 3 Gen 2:25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. \u00a0 If you really want to do the business of marriage it is critical that you must be involved in communication. And if you do not intend to communicate then, I think, it would be very difficult for you to actually transact the business of marriage. \u00a0 Obviously, what is surprising is the fact that people are not forced\u00a0into marriages. Couples voluntarily come together. Isn\u2019t it then very surprising that although they voluntarily came together, which means they must had been meeting, that finally when they begin the business of marriage communication suffers? \u00a0 It should have been obvious, during courting, that you have difficulty in communication. Were you not talking? How come that in marriage itself communication becomes such a difficult thing? \u00a0 One reason for no communication is fear\u00a0of disclosure but marriage requires nakedness with no shame! \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 4 \u00a0 Acts7:26 The next day Moses came upon two Israelites who were fighting. He tried to reconcile them by saying, \u2018Men, you are brothers; why do you want to hurt each other? \u00a0 I want to suggest that the second\u00a0cause leading to no communication in\u00a0marriage is that each of us has strengths and weaknesses that may lead us to hurt each other. \u00a0 People are like porcupines. Ever heard of porcupines? A Porcupine is an animal quite common in Africa. At least it is found in my home village on the slopes of the Aberdare ranges. One of the things that you will note about porcupines is that they relate with each other just like\u00a0 people. But porcupines have one problem, when it gets cold, porcupines want\u00a0 to come together for warmth but when they come together, they have such sharp \u2018spines\u2019 that prick into others. That\u2019s why they are called porcupines. They have such spines that immediately they come near\u00a0 each other they start piercing one another. You can just imagine when it gets cold and porcupines ought to come together! When they come together they prick one another. So they again go far from each other. They feel cold. So they again seek to come back together. Once they feel cold, they go back together. Do you see what I mean? \u00a0 That\u2019s what happens in marriage. \u00a0 Day 5 \u00a0 Genesis2:18 The LORD God said, \u201cIt is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.\u201d \u00a0 The reason why you came together in marriage is because you really did not like the business of being single. You felt lonely and when God gave you somebody who could understand you and who was interested in you, you were so excited about it; you were eagerly waiting for the wedding day. \u00a0 Sadly, many of us have \u2018spines\u2019. These spines\u00a0can make us poke each other unwillingly. As long as the spouse was away, there is no problem. But when you started sharing a bedroom and you realized he has \u2018spines\u2019! Many issues that will come up only after the wedding! When you were courting you could not prick each other. Then suddenly, in marriage prick. \u00a0 And that\u2019s what happens in marriage. Because you are hurting, you want to go apart. But then you realize now you are tied in marriage for life. \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 6 \u00a0 Genesis 25:22 The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, \u201cWhy is this happening to me?\u201d So she went to inquire of the LORD \u00a0 Marriage is a permanent relationship. Despite the spines, you have to keep coming back together and that becomes quite a challenge. \u00a0 I am trying to say\u00a0that in marriage you have to come together just like the porcupines during the cold weather want stay close to one another. But because of the spikes you have you keep poking each other. So, communication must be a method out of the hurting spines. If the porcupines are clever, they must look for a system that allows them to come together so that they are able to deal with the cold and yet not spike each other. Over a period of time they will finally discover a method. \u00a0 So you actually wonder how these mammals procreate. How does the male porcupine conjugate with the female porcupine without spiking? You need to ask somebody who works with the wildlife! \u00a0 But you need to understand that even in marriage, in the same way, we must find a method that allows us to come together without hurting one another. \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 7 \u00a0 9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.\u00a010 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. \u00a0 Taking each other for granted is another issue in marriage. Many assume living happily\u00a0will come easy. \u00a0 How do you communicate so well, you get to know how not to hurt?\u00a0 Communication will be the method that will allow you to come together in such a way that you don\u2019t hurt one another. \u00a0 However, there is nothing that will come automatically. Sometimes you assume that as long as she is\u00a0born again and I am born again, the relationship and the way to stay with each other will be automatic. Unfortunately you will discover despite being born again, you still hurt each other. \u00a0 My wife Rebecca was born again when\u00a0we met in the university. She had been born again for many years. Thus\u00a0I just met her already saved, she found me saved, so when we married it sounded like two people who were\u00a0saved can never disagree. So it surprised us, the first time we quarreled, it really surprised us because how could we, and yet we are born again, Spirit-filled and heavenly bound? \u00a0 You should understand that there isn\u2019t a marriage in heaven. Marriage is a very earthly affair and we are very human ourselves."}